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About Digital Art / Hobbyist Premium Member ThunderhawkMale/Hungary Recent Activity
Deviant for 2 Years
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Given by Neko-me
Statistics 111 Deviations 1,009 Comments 116,492 Pageviews

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Artist | Hobbyist | Digital Art
Profile Picture was created by: :icongoinglucky:
Original Avatar Picture was created by: :iconsketchyjackie:

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Status Report:

:star:Last Update: 2014.08.26:star:

Next on my list:

- :bulletgreen: ON HOLD

:iconnorequests: :iconnocommissions: :iconnotrades: :icongiftsfriendsonly:
Sorry for my bad English this will be a longer journal.

But First! I know it was months ago, and I'm really sorry that I haven't reply to you. But let me first thank you ALL the Birthday wishes what I recieved back on the 30th of September. Sorry that I'm not thanking one by one to everybody, but I recieved so much! I think this was the best part of my birthday. :) Thank you!

Now for the bigger part of this journal:

I know maybe some of you already thought or at least ask yourself (or for me) this question: "What's with me? Am I dead?" If not that I'm sure that seeing this journal will some of you remind that I haven't post anything for so long, what's going on? Am I stopped drawing? Did I gave up on drawing?
Well the answer is: Yes, I stopped drawing, but no, I haven't gave up on them. So what's the matter?
Well, I do want to continue to draw, I do want to draw a lot of comics, but true is... I can't. I just can't at the moment.

To tell you the truth, I kinda lost my spirit, and mood, but the saddest part is that I kinda lost my spirit/mood because of others... I disapponted in so much people in such a short time. I feel used, throwed away, lost. And knowing this I started to feel really down, to be down in the dumps. I can't get over with this these feeling, I can't get over on these people. How can they be so irresponsible, and unfeeling? Even when I felt that I have a really good mood, I sat down and started to draw something I started to remembered and these bad feelings just came back, I couldn't just brush off these feelings. My mood dropped again, and I had to shut down my drawing program again... Something is really broked inside of me.... I kinda waited for my birthday, because I really hoped that maybe on that day I will receive some support that can help me to overcome with these feelings. And this is why I told you that having all those birthday wishes from you were the best things of my day. :) However... the problem is that what I do received too are a lot of broken promises, what kinda hurted me even more, especially because some of these promises were from my friends(?) I don't even know anymore...
I started thinking: What I do wrong? Why this is happening to me? I really try so hard. I don't want to hurt my friends, I really want to help them if they feel down, I want to be there for them, if they need me. It will sound a little selfish, but I started to think that maybe I'm too "kind" and this is why I get used by others, but I'm so alert... OR maybe I'm not even kind at all? I just haven't noticed this? I don't even know how this world rolls anymore....Sometimes I feel.... that everything was better when I was alone...  and it's sad....

I'm still trying. Trying to get somehow back on the horse, but it's really hard. But I have to! Somehow! I made promises too, promises what I haven't forgat in one single day, I'm not like that! I made promises to you, promises to others, what I still have to make. This is another reason why I don't want to give up on drawing, because I want to keep these promises.

But what can I do in a situation where I kinda feel abandoned? Well I started to change things around me, I wanted to change my "destiny". First of all, I started to learn how to draw. With pencil and papir at the moment.  (It looks like a "Burn in hell" but I know that every start will be like this. I just need to keep moving.) Even if this is drawing as well, it do feel different what I used to, and it kinda feel good. Like a therapy. It would be soo good If I could draw faster as my current speed, I could make comics every week! My dream...
I'm planning some other big change that maybe could help me a lot, but it will be not easy, and it's not 100% sure yet. But if that will happen, I definitly will tell you. But this could not happen before the end of winter, so..

I don't know how much time I still need... Maybe weeks, months.. I don't know at all. But what's really matter is that I haven't give up yet. I'm trying. Be patient with me, I will come back.


:iconwolfsamuraiart20002: :iconwarriorcats303: :iconhannahisfine: :iconacedraw: :iconzero-cross:

If there would be an episode where 1 of the Main6 would turn into a filly, who would it be? 

53 deviants said Twilight
31 deviants said Rainbow Dash
17 deviants said Fluttershy
16 deviants said Applejack
10 deviants said Pinkie Pie
8 deviants said Rarity


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KrytenMarkGen-0 Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Thanks for faving! :thumbsup::)
quintanillac Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Thanks for the llama badge :D
EgonDaLatz Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Király galéria! Insta-watch ;)
Thunderhawk03 Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Köszi! :)
EgonDaLatz Featured By Owner Edited Oct 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Szívesen :peace: És én is köszönöm az óriáskecskét! :XD:
Dragonking17 Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the lama. 
CadetotheEndFTW Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2014
Thanks for the badge XD
NavelColt Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2014
Cute OC, dude :meow:
Thunderhawk03 Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you so much! :D
Dragonking17 Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy Birthday! And here is someone else to give you an even better birthday greeting.…
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