No, not from my country, neither from my town, but from the family home.
This is one of my main reason why I'm so inactive lately. Back in the second half of the last year, why I felt so down that I fall in depression, that was the time, when I realised that I have to change my life, because unless I don't do anything about it, then nothing will change.
I working in my family business, I working till late, but when I get home, (what's not far away for my workplace) I always feel that my workplace is wheezing on my neck, because something could happen, what makes me have to go back in my workplace. And I always have this pressure whenever I at home in my small room. In the same time, I'm not really satisfied with myself. I know I can be so much more, and that's why I have to make this big step, even if I fear a little, and I have to give up so much good things. But in the mean time, I know that I don't know so much things. This is why I fear a little, because I'm so unknowing in the real life, but in the mean time my parents will back me up, so I will not completly alone. I know that living alone help me grow more, what I really need, but in the same time, I don't really want to leave my parents.. Not just because I had a really good time at home, but I'm an only child, and I know that leaving will hurt my parents as well, because they care so much for me. I really feel that everything what their life were about was me. I really loved them as well.
So leaving them will hurt them more then me, and the thinking that maybe something will happen to them after I'm not at home makes me sick.
But I know that in my current state I fell that I'm a nothing. I have to leave the paradise home, to become something better, to become stronger. I have to! I want to! My parents supporting me as well, even if I know that deep in their heart they don't want to, but they know too that it will help me a loot too.
After I decided to move out (I thought about it a long time), I had to make it somehow "happen", what of course was not easy. But this was kinda a proof that it's a good choise, because after I decided this a lot of good things happened that helped me achived this dream. First of all, one of my relative inherited a small house, but she didn't need it, so she wanted to sell it. After hearing what I wanted she asked me, and after seeing the house, we decided to went for it. Because I'm relative I could bought it in a good price with the help of my parents. The house is really small, but it's perfect for me.
We only needed to somehow refurbish it, because of course it was old, and nobody lived in in a long time. But luckily my father is a master mason, they know everything about it, and he has good connections. We only needed some stuff to refurbish it. And guess what! Not to long ago Baumax decided to walk out from Hungary, so that means a big sell-out! Everything turned out so well to me that I think this is the big sign that I have to do it! This is the first time that I really feel such a big support that even if I wanted I could not turn back anymore.
But of course that means that I have to work twice as much, because achiving those things even if I was so lucky it's still not easy with the earning here in Hungary.
This is mostly my main reason for my inactivity in those months. I working twice as much, and I'm getting really tired when I get home. I'm currently focusing on my house, and my new life.
I don't know yet when can I move in, but maybe in late spring. Until then I'm working and I learning everything what I needed to learn for the real life. Of course after moving in the first few months will be a pain in the ***. But I know that after that, when I get used to it will be such a good time, because I will place the bottom of my life, and I can build on it.
I think that I will have the space, the environment, and the motivation to do, and learn things what I wanted to do for a long time, and finaly live, and having the feeling to be alive